I've been having a lot of dreams lately. I've been thinking about all the things I would like to do with my life. Some of those dreams I've had for awhile. Others are more recent. All of them seem good. It's hard to decide which ones to pursue.
It's a good thing, actually. For a long time most of my energy has been going into trying to find a job. Recently I managed to find a permanent job that meets my needs. Now that I'm no longer focused on trying to get a job I have more time to think about what I would like to do with my life. I also have some stability, which makes it easier to make plans for the future.
There's a joy that comes with these dreams. There's a joy in seeing something that's still over the horizon. There's a joy in picturing something that isn't here yet. There's a joy in chasing a dream and making it a reality.
There's also a bit of sadness that comes with these dreams. A sadness in knowing that to pursue one dream is to neglect the others. A sadness because I know that, no matter what I do, some of these dreams will never come to pass.
Still it is more than worth it to have these dreams; to see these realities that lie just over the horizon. It is a wonderful thing to see these dreams and to welcome them from far away.
Soon I know it will be time to make a choice. I will have to decide which direction my life is heading. I will need to decide where I want to go and which of my many dreams I want to try and make a reality. I am looking forward to that as well, but right now it feels nice just to take a break and dream for a little while.
And I need to savor the dream while it lasts. I'll need to remember the wonderful dream I had during those times when I am struggling to make it happen. I need to hold on to the joy to keep me going when it gets rough.
For now, though, I think I'm going to enjoy my dreams just a little bit longer.
An excerpt from Rachel Held Evans’ new book
9 hours ago